it’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the cream of the fight

i’ve decided that the homeless population in downtown chicago is really quite creative.  much more creative than the heartsiders of grand rapids, anyway.  naturally, there are the ne’re-do-wells who shout expletives at you for not giving up a square (i’m trying to bring that word back – is it working?), but there are some who go above and beyond.  some who strive for glory.  some who deserve my “last” cigarette and the mcdonald’s gift card i was holding on to for a future hang over. 

my favorite?  the bum at the corner of clark and lake who shakes his change cup like a maraca to the radio station in his head.  w-can-i-get-a-quarter’s hot jam for today:  eye of the tiger. 

badass, man.  bad.  ass. 

 

-k

25 things about me

it’s come to my attention that i haven’t written more than a to-do list since i graduated from college. that makes this whole blogging thing… well, really frakkin’ hard.  thankfully (i use this word very loosely), my friend mirela convinced me to complete this “25 things about me” hokey-pokey that’s been swirling around the internets recently (read:  forever).  the redeeming factor in all of this:  it’s just another list.

1. i’m obsessed with all things relating to the 80s cartoon Jem. two days ago – at work - i made this: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. when i was 7, my cousin and i got in trouble for flashing our nether regions to the neighbor boy (we had bathing suits on!).  it was in fit of rage and meant to be incendiary.  clearly, as 7 year olds, we had no idea what actions equaled rage.

3. chicago deep dish pizza is terrible. i’d rather have a mama cosi’s pizza from aldi. srsly.

4. even though i’ve been on two bahamian cruises with my family, i still tell poeple that i’ve never been on a vacation.  if i can’t do what i want when i want, it’s not a vacation.  ’cause “i do what i waaant!”

5. i still have 20 more of these things to go?

6. in grade school, i “dated” a guy who’s head was shaped like a football.  literally.  raise your right hand and pretend your gripping the pigskin (yeah, i said it).  now imagine an oblong head with a little, wiggling 4th grade body attached.  that was jeff ralverson (name changed to protect the innocent).

7. i’m deathly afraid of a deathly death. the government should just give everyone those little suicide pills, just in case.

8. i once wracked up around $600 in parking tickets in grand rapids.  a general parking ticket there is $15.

9.  even though i’ve repeatedly told my father that my bf’s name is darrin, he still calls him “allen”. 

10.  wow, only at #10…

11. sometimes, i listen to britney spears’ gimme more to get “pumped-up” for work, and am now wondering why i just decided to make that public.

12. i’m constantly trying to invent something – generally, of a collapsible nature.  i have ideas for a shovel, ketchup containers, and several other products that i’ve come to realize are already on the market.  i swear i thought of the snuggie when i was like 4.

13.  i take an online i.q. test nearly every other day.  i never finish them.  maybe i should be taking some sort of an a.d.d. test instead.

14. self-diagnosing is the name of my game.  watch me take that a.d.d. test and get on some black market ritalin within the week.  i already have an inhaler for my “asthma” and dulcolax for my “ibs.”  i’m kidding… sort of.

15. first off, i’m 27… and on saturday mornings i watch That’s So Raven and Hannah Montana reruns.  my friends say i should give up on miley for her recent racist-against-asians photo-op.  what they should be telling me is to give up on raven for those white boots she wore on The Family Feud.  did anyone else see that???

16. oh yeah, i’m obsessed with clothes.  not fashion – i could give a shit about designers and labels.  clothes, my friends.

17. i eat instant noodle for lunch everyday.  then i take my actual lunch hour and have chicken mcnuggets for desert.  hot mustard ftw!

18. i have a lady-crush on my hair stylist.  period.

19. i once saw this on my way to a meal:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

appetite fail.

20. i quit a lot of things before i finish them.  i’m only going to post 20 things about me.

-k

and so it is.

that’s it. i’ve gone and done it.

prepare for your mind to be blown!

-k